Closet Full of Hats, Head Full of Thoughts

Welcome to the Musings of a Menopausal* Mind…

I’m a communication specialist with more than 15 years of experience working in nonprofit leadership and development, which essentially translates to having a closet FULL of hats.

Prior to receiving my undergraduate degree, my means of earning an income ranged from an administrative assistant in an engineering firm, to a manager of a shaved ice shack and a door-to-door sales rep for Cutco Knives. On the verge of my first divorce, I transitioned to a waitress and bartender for a local bowling center**. The flexibility and onsite day care helped me raise three children, all girls***, all under five relatively on my own.

The flexibility and onsite day care helped me raise three children, all girls, all under five relatively on my own.

In 2009, when the girls were 14, 13, and 11, I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Mass Communications. Post degree, my roles have ranged from Staff Writer to Editorial Director. Currently, I serve as the Director of Employee Relations & Administrative Operations for a nonprofit that serves the greater St. Louis area.

Fast forward several years to 2013 when I accepted a dinner invite from a super nice guy I had waited on for many years. He was more than 10 yrs older than me and had very young children: (2-yr old boy and 4-yr old girl) and a 17-yr old son. Since both realities were “non-negotiables” on my list of reasons NOT to date someone, I didn’t expect anything more than a friendly dinner.

Since both realities were “non-negotiables” on my list of reasons NOT to date someone…

Instead, I got easy, open, and honest, it felt bullshit free; AND there was a spark. Before the end of dinner, I had boldly moved to join him on his side of the booth.****

Nearly 13 years later—7 married—we reside in the Metro East, Illinois area where we find beautiful chaos in supporting our blended family of six children, five significant others, and two GRAND boys! For me, the third time was indeed a charm. I finally got a life partner.

For me, the third time was indeed a charm.

I hope the insight provided in this first piece helps to inform your understanding of future posts. I was hesitant to dive into this new adventure, questioning to whom or why my opinion/perspective would matter to a following of brave, transparent women in (or on the precipice of) mid-life. Women who no doubt have accomplished more than me.

But then I thought: A laugh [can be] universal. If it’s funny, it’s funny, it cuts through the noise and provides a moment of rest. Sometimes, just enough to reconsider and embrace the opportunity afforded to you.

If it’s funny, it’s funny, it cuts through the noise and provides a moment of rest.

* I can’t be sure. Can any of us? Even the doctors question the division between peri, mena, and post. Anything that has a 3-part series is bound to be complicated.

** Why “bowling center” vs “bowling alley” you may ask…. clearly you’ve never worked for one. It was ingrained in us that the facility offered more than just bowling (food, an arcade, etc.) and “alley” had a negative connotation. Old habits die hard.

*** A quick grammar/spelling check wanted me to rewrite this to exclude the fact that they were “all girls” as if that detail didn’t add any weight……… I’d ask for forgiveness for ignoring that suggestion, but I suspect those that get it, GET IT and the others, well I just resolved your struggle to identify what to be grateful for!

**** I’m well aware of the “ick” factor conjured up by your mind’s eye when it comes to this happening before your very eyes out in public~!